I’ve found myself a helpless victim, of late, of what I call “little man syndrome”. My symptoms you ask? I’m irritated and annoyed- which leads to headache and bad mood. I have to bite my lip in order to prevent myself from verbally reacting – which leads to me being short and snappy with other victims and those unaffected. But worst of all (I’m ashamed to admit) I have a very strong urge (that I fight hard to suppress) to grab the infected cause by the face and push it as far out of my sight and surrounding area as possible! I know it’s bad. Physical violence is never the cure, but believe me when I move on to explain the causes of these terrible symptoms surely you’ll begin to understand why the urge is so strong and so hard to suppress.
Little Man Syndrome (LMS) is the sickening illness that only infects boys but affects REAL men and ALL women. Boys that haven’t yet hit puberty or a certain level of maturity are in danger of being infected and girls that lack sense are in danger of being sucked in. Signs that u are in the presence of a boy (men – real men that is are not infected as afore mentioned) who is infected are very easy to spot and a key point to note is that the infected are delusional. Being delusional forms the main part of the infected populations problem and is the root to many of the other factors they plague their victims with which include………..
- …..Believing themselves to know everything about everything which leads to…..
- …..Verbal diarrhoea about ANY subject
- The inability to be quiet at appropriate times which leads to…..
- …..Inappropriate comments, insensitive tone, selfish behaviour, all at a decibel which insinuates he must be heard – all linked to…..
- …..Vainness, (these are the type of boys who send naked pics of themselves via text) which is all a front to make up for his…..
- …..Very small genitalia, which leads to a high pitched very annoying voice that has the ability to make the affected physically sick, especially when…..
- …..Bragging about events which are so immensely fabricated that it is painfully obvious that the probability of the supposed event having actually occurred is very small, such as…..
- …..Claiming to have “smashed” a number of girls/women who all supposedly look like glamour models and all supposedly still try to contact the infected because he was “so good they cannot get enough” which leads to……..
- …..Sexist, chauvinistic and sometimes bigoted comments/stories about escapades experienced, which usually ALWAYS includes…..
- …..The absence of tact regardless of how many women are present
- Throwing ones weight around and acting as though they are more important than they really are.
- Using “borrowed” terminology from shows such as Jersey Shore and From G’s to Gents
Don’t be fooled by size – although it could be assumed that the infected are vertically challenged, they actually come in all shapes and sizes, colours and creeds. Although the best way to describe the infected is “irritant” do not underestimate their power to drive you close to insane. I am unsure as to whether all boys go through this stage before reaching maturity (which is very different from puberty) but maturity is the only cure and we all know there is no particular age when this comes about so my advice on dealing with the infected would be to keep your distance (if possible) and just leave well alone. Do not attempt to involve yourself in any level of conversation with the infected unless your looking for light entertainment – but be warned – it WILL result in you being either irritated, dumbfounded by their arrogance, or even bleeding from the ear. I speak from current experience as I am; by no choice of my own; a victim of those infected with LMS. I’m just glad I get to go home to a real man who; is familiar with infected but due to being above average within the male population never been infected. Ladies if your lucky enough to meet such a man hold on to him - if your unlucky enough to be affected by the infected RUN!